Glazed and Confused

Tools of the Trade

Glass cutting is a fairly simple task given the correct tools, which I daresay is true for almost any task. Proper equipment just makes a job easier. Think how hard it would have been for the Egyptians to build the pyramids without having enslaved the Israelites? That’s not exactly a great comparison and working with glass isn't quite like pyramid building, but it’s all relative. 

In the framing biz, there are lots of little details that have to be right before the job is done, and glass cleaning is a big 'little detail'.  For people like me these details could become crazy-making.  There really isn’t such a thing as glass that’s cleaned “well enough”.  It’s either clean or it isn’t.   

Glass cleaning is a process, and it is not as easy as one might think, and unlike some I don't have the option of saying, "I don't do windows."

Working with new glass is not so bad. In fact there really is very little cleaning involved with new glass, if any. New glass arrives in boxes, separated by sheets of paper, and it is clean upon receipt.  I think they must package it in a clean room. Our main goal when working with new glass is to keep it clean.  In an effort to keep the new glass clean, we have some very stylish gloves, I mean really chic, to wear while handling it. The gloves keep fingerprints and dirt off the glass. Pretty nifty.   

Yesterday, I was working with some unboxed glass, and therefore it was not clean. So BriGuy had to get it clean.  Feeling self-assured as a veteran window cleaner, I thought, “No problem, got the gloves, got the homemade Windex*.  Gonna TCB!”  I was going to get the job done: botta bing botta boom – done! Well....it was a bit more like botta "are you kidding me?"  My process went something like this: clean one side, clean other side, use air gun to blow off remaining particles and dust, see smudge/dirt spot, clean again, turn over, see another smudge/dirt spot, clean again and on and on. After 10 or so minutes dancing this glass cleaning tango, my Einstein-like mind figured it out: the gloves only keep the glass clean if the gloves are clean. See how that works? Clean gloves, clean glass; dirty gloves, dirty glass.  It was an astounding discovery.  All that to say, dirty glass is frankly...a pain in the glass! (Cheap, I know, but it was right there).

While our super sexy glass gloves really are excellent tools, they aren’t made of Kevlar or chainmail so they don't protect against broken glass cutting into a blood vessel or jabbing into any vital organ. No, I didn't get cut. I almost got cut. Really it was more like I almost got impaled.

I was working with a rather large piece of glass, which I had just painstakingly cleaned, and I was about to set it in the frame when it broke. It broke into two pieces one of which was quite pointy, in that broken bottle used as a weapon kind of way and aimed directly at my abdomen. It scared me nearly to death. If you've ever had a car wreck, you know those moments when it’s happening and you can do nothing and your mind is racing? Well, it was kinda like that. In the split second between the sound of the crack and the actual separation, I had a million thoughts in my mind.  I was certain a red sea was soon to be born out of me, right then and there.  I remember thinking, “Please, please, please don't cut me.  Really, I don't want to bleed, no cuts! Ok, if you are cut, don't throw up and for god’s sake, don't have diarrhea!”  Lucky for me and for Owner and anyone else who might have entered the shop thereafter, my response was to remain still and calm. I did not yell.  I did not scream.  Not one, single expletive crossed my lips. (For real; not a single cuss word. Didn't even think one. No, I'm not lying. Yes, this is the Brian).  Although I was almost certain I had cut my hand, I had not. I just lost a small piece of skin from my gloved finger.    

So you see framing can be a dangerous business.  Between the vicious chopper, that wraith ever lurking and ever ready to cut with it's blades of power and the insidious, harrowing hazards of glazing, we framers must navigate carefully in our quest to get it right.  Like Frodo and Sam, Owner and I move on. 

 

*Owner makes homemade glass cleaner.  Funny thing is, I have done the same since long before I ever worked at the Frame Shop & Gallery.  Peas from the same pod?  Often, I think so and happily.