I spoke too soon. I suffered my first framing accident resulting in bodily harm. I was cutting glass. Actually, I was slivering glass - just the word slivering causes my stomach to turn a bit. Anyway, in the process of slivering, my hand slipped and then the blood. I don't really have a blood phobia, but I don't really cotton to it flowing freely from my own body either. I didn't so much cut myself as remove a large portion of skin from my right ring finger. Of course it hurt like the dickens, but I persevered. Saturday was my sister's birthday, and I was framing a gift for her - a picture she drew as a child - when the injury occurred. Lucky for me Owner has a ready stash of band aids which I found without too much of a search. The thought had crossed my mind I might have to MacGyver a bandage out of leftover mat board and scotch tape! Saturday, I completed my first project for a paying customer on my own. I did it all. Cut the mats and moulding, joined the frame, cut the glass and fit everything together. I would like to say that it all went smashingly well without complication, but alas, I cannot. Thankfully, I have a full head of hair so all the attempts at removing it during the process are scarcely noticeable. The problem began with fractions. (If any math teacher I ever had is reading this, I apologize. You were right: I shouldn't have talked during class). I didn't like fractions in the 3rd grade, the 7th grade or now. Fractions are confusing to me. This is a malady I come by naturally. My parents, both well-educated, told a story from their early married life in which they were trying to figure out what 1/2 of 2/3's is or maybe it was what 1/3 plus 1/3 is. At any rate, it took them way too long to get it figured out. So you see, I am at least the second generation of inadequate fractioneers.
If I had any clue what a centimeter really looked like, I would be all for the metric system. All this 5/8" plus 1/4" stuff really is just for the birds. Sorry birds. That said, I have got to get over my issues with fractions since pretty much everything I do involves fractions and sometimes converting them to metric. We measure and cut everything, except mats, using the Imperial system or standard measurements (seems odd that it's called "standard" since we are the only country still using it, but whatev). While working on this particular project on my own, I got just the tiniest bit frustrated with the math. I had to get Owner to intervene, and then I got just an eencey, teencey bit, just a smidge I assure you, agitated with myself for not understanding instantly and precisely every single flipping thing Owner was explaining to me. I mean, let's be reasonable. I've been doing this framing gig for almost two months, I should be an expert, right?! Yeah, I know that's pretty crazy, but that's how I roll - sometimes. Thankfully, I got over my crazy long enough to get the pieces cut and assembled. It really looked beautiful. Before I put on the backing, the final step, I looked at the almost finished product with a fair amount of pride. I should have been proud. I had sustained injury and endured; I experienced extreme mental duress and persevered, and I broke the chains of fraction hell to win the day! I added the backing, put on the hangers, and voila! C'est finit!
Not so fast kemosabe. While admiring my handiwork, I noticed a tiny, little piece of something inside the glass. (NOTE: any unwanted particle in the framing biz is called a "booger". Totally gross, but it is what it is). So, here in my finished product was a booger. A tiny black speck staring at me and practically laughing right in my face. It was probably imperceptible to most, but it was all I could see. Nothing to do but rip the backing off and get this right. I did just that. Ripped of the backing, removed the offending booger, sealed 'er up again only to be faced with other boogers that had crept in from nowhere with the singular purpose of taunting me. Twice more I "finished", and twice more I battled the boogers, driving them off my mat and out of my frame until finally victory was mine!
The piece turned out beautifully. All the parts, handsome in their own right, came together creating a whole that was much more beautiful than simply the sum of its fraction-laden parts. The final test in successful framing is, of course, customer satisfaction. I am happy to report, the customer was well-pleased. Plop plop fizz fizz...
I'm pretty sure there is a lesson in all of this, ok, I'm certain of it. Lessons learned: 1) Blood in inevitable. After all, framing is dangerous. 2) Fractions really are the Devil. 3) Ridiculous expectations of oneself are just that: ridiculous. 4) Quality products take time to make (and sometimes many attempts!) 5) Cut yourself some slack but not your finger.
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